Words taken from the wedding favour, and written by someone much more clevererer than moi. (Thank you).
Once upon a time in a nightclub faraway, a beautiful country girl went out dancing. Just like Cinderella, she met a Prince. But instead of stealing her shoe, he stole her big lovely heart. The Prince whisked the fair Princess off to a faraway land full of sand, boat parties & camping trips with goats. She busied herself saving the world one Ethiopian child at a time, whilst he built buildings so tall that not even Rapunzel stood a chance.
One day the Prince bought a big shiny rock, took the Princess on a romantic picnic & asked for her perfectly manicured hand in marriage. The Princess squealed, not unlike the three little pigs, and said yes. King Clive, who ruled over the majestic Ovens Valley, offered his farm by the river to celebrate The Big Day.
Three fair maidens & three wee elves escorted the bride through the paddocks to meet her handsome groom. The elves, the cutest you ever saw, were Tara, Jude & Ethan. The fine young maidens were sister Kimberley & boarding school friends Meeghan & Laura.
Whilst the dulcet tones of “I’m Yours” filled the air, the guests ooohed and aahhhed at the most beautiful bride the valley had ever seen. The groomsmen, brother Dan & longtime friends, Adam & Adam, carried sneaky tissues in their pockets in case of tears. Gorgeous friend Tash & the lovely Simon shared readings with the crowd.
When the I do’s were done & Aunty Jill had sealed the deal, the guests sipped a champagne by the river before their carriages took them back up to the house. Drinks & canapes were served on the tennis court under the setting sun.
As night fell, they wined & dined & danced under candlelight in the big red shed. When the clock struck midnight, carriages arrived to take guests home before they turned into pumpkins. More carriages arrived at one & two, for despite this valley being a picturesque delight, it really had no taxis.
The Prince & Princess relived their magical night with friends & family & a few sore heads at about eleven o’clock the next morning. Then they jumped in their campervan, drove off around Australia, & lived happily ever after.
~ THE END ~
Well not really, actually just the beginning…